Magellan Inbound Call Center

Shirts must have too much room, look what people have written on them…

• Don’t worry about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.

• A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

• The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

• What if the Hokey Pokey is really what it’s all about?

• If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

• No one pays attention until you make a mistake.

• Jesus loves you, but I think you’re a jerk.

• Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

• Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change ready.

• Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.

• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

• Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep.

• What was the best thing before sliced bread?

• Smile. It’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

• If the left side of the brain controls the right hand, then only left-handed people are in their right mind.

• Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

• Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

• Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

• Ignore the dog. Watch out for the owner.

• If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

• A closed mouth gathers no foot.

• Don’t treat me any differently than you would the Queen.

• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation… I wonder if that means…?

• Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.

• The trouble with life is there’s no background music.

• Women have PMS. Men have ESPN.

• Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookies of life.

• Coffee. Chocolate. Men. Some things are better rich.

• If you live in a glass house, you should change clothes in basement.

• Fart in church, and you’ll sit in own pew.

• Germs attack people where they are weakest. This explains the number of head colds.

• It’s not just the ups and downs that make life difficult. It’s the jerks.

• I don’t know what I want, but I do know I don’t have it.

• People who give back their ill-gotten gains are reformed crocks. People who keep most of the loot and only give back a little are philanthropists.

• Once you’ve climbed the ladder of success, you’re over the hill.

• Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

• There will always be death and taxes. However, death doesn’t get worse every year.

• Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

• The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it limits.

• Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of the dog, it’s too dark to read.

• I can see your point, but I still think you are full of crap.

• I don’t know what your problem is, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce.

• I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

• I’ll try being nicer if you will try being smarter.

• I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.

• The screw up fairy has visited us again.

• I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a care.

• I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

• What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

• And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be…?

• I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

• Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

• If I throw a stick, will you leave?

• A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

• Can I trade my job for what’s behind door #1?

• Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

• Chaos, panic and disorder – my work is done here.

• Enthusiasm is contagious. Start an epidemic!

• Education is expensive, but ignorance is more so.

Source:

http://www.successfuloffice.com/articles/call-center-blog_call-center-humor8.htm